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July 2015

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UGH! weight issues

Sometimes I think I am afraid to be thin. Seriously. After all why else would I sabotage every effort to lose weight with junk food and laziness?

When I picture myself in my mind as how I would like to look this flubber around my belly isn't part of it. When I look in the mirror and see my puffy face it's so not the face I want to see.

I've worked out one day in the past month. During that time I've had 8 bowls of ice cream, 15 trips to McDonnald's, a butt ton of chips, enough soda to fill a kiddie pool, and more.

Yet, I want to lose weight. Yeah. Ok.

Seriously though, I need to kick myself in the butt a bit. I need to keep away from the junk (except for once in a while as a treat) and I need to start working out more. I mean I'm eating food that obviously isn't good for me. Plus I'm eating meat which just kills me anyway (the agony that comes with a big mac is more than added fat and too many calories).

I have a plan and it's a simple one.

1. Eat healthier. Smaller portions and more meals equaling around 1600 calories a day (no less than 1200 and no more than 2000). More fruits and veggies (and eating meat sparingly thanks to my messed up belly). Less junk food.

2. Work out on a regular basis. I'm the kind of person who needs to work out every day to be able to keep with it. But I know that's not reasonable starting out. Even if I just do 3 days a week then at least it's better than nothing. And I can work up to 6 days (no matter what I need at least 1 day off).

That's it. That's the secret to weight loss. Eat healthy, exercise, and be active.

So what's my problem?


I've been thinking on this lately myself. And you know what I've realized? Anytime I make a plan, I never stick to it. It's the plan itself sabotages me. So I just let things happen naturally.

For instance, I didn't intend to give up eating sweets--but I have. I don't eat sweets. Used to, I'd have a candy bar with lunch and a few cookies at night. This was a daily routine. Know what I had yesterday? One cookie. That's it. It wasn't something I was conciously doing, it just happened~ Now soda I did intend to give up and I've stuck to that really well.

But the image I see reflected back at me is not the one I want to see either. I actually have a very different mental image of myself as opposed to what I actually look like. It's a long story but suffice it to say that it's serving as thinspiration (to grab a word from the show Huge~
I've heard the term "thinspiration" for years, before Huge (though I want to see that show). I have pictures of when I was thin to help serve as thinspiration. lol But lately those pictures which were inspirational are now depressing. *shrugs*

It's funny how the mind works. Sometimes it feels like you're able to talk yourself into anything and do all sorts of positive things. Then your mindset changes and you wind up doing the opposite of what you sent out to do. um...did that make any sense? lol