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July 2015

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I'm tired of not being happy with my body. I look in the mirror and I see a woman who is far too overweight and unhappy. I feel disgust when I catch a glimpse of myself in a store window. When Nika or Frankie are on the computer in the bedroom, and I sit on the bed to talk with them, I can see myself in the mirror on our closet doors. I look HORRID!

I need to change things. What I don't need is to go to extremes to get where I want to go.

I'm going to use what worked for me in the past. Cutting down on junk and working out. I'm not going to go all crazy either. In the past I've used the Body Sculpting Bible for Women and it's a great book.

I think I'm going to start with that. Just work out 3 days a week using weights and working on my abs. I'm also going to add running to it for my cardio.

Then, after a few weeks of that I'm going to start taking classes at my gym. Yes, the gym I haven't gone to in MONTHS! I'm not sure which one to take. There are a TON of them (though not all are offered at my gym). I want one that will burn calories but I can actually do. Here is a description of the classes they offer if anyone is curious.

So by that point I'll be doing strength, abs, and running 3 days a week and take a class 3 days a week.

Also I'm quitting smoking. I'm positive that one of the reasons I have no energy is because I'm replacing oxygen with carbon monoxide from the cigarettes. Yeah, not a good thing.

As for diet, I would like to be raw. But for now that's going to an extreme that I'm not sure I can do. Just going by past experience here. I am going to start off slow with my diet. I'm going to cut out junk food. I'll allow myself to have it once a month (during my period). As for everything else, well I'm going to step up the fruits and veggies a bit. Dinner will be whatever I usually make (I don't make unhealthy dinners anyway). Eventually I'll be fully vegan and maybe one day raw. But for now that's not necessary (though I do need to limit my meat intake for the sake of my intestines).

My goal is to lose approximately 40 lbs. I'm not giving myself a time table on it. More importantly than the weight is that I want to drop down to a size 10 (8 at the smallest). I'm a size 14 now. The last time I was a 10 I was around 150-160 lbs. That's 20-30 lbs away.

I'm setting mini goals with rewards. At a size 12 I'll get myself a professional massage (mmmmmm.....) at my gym. At a size 10 I'm going to go on a shopping spree (spending $100 at a thrift store should do it). If I get down to a size 8 then I'm going to sew myself 4 or 5 outfits/dresses. I really don't want to get smaller than an 8. As a 6 I was way too thin.

I really hope I can do this!